This post is meant as an inquiry into this question: in a civilized world, to what extent does the international traveler staying at a hotel or resort have an obligation to be sociable?
During recent travels in Asia, I observed at several resorts a trend toward decidedly chilly social relations among my fellow guests, especially people under, say, 45 years old. I noticed that many guests staying at these resorts or lodges seem uninterested in making small talk, exchanging pleasantries or even saying hello to people they see time and again over several days or more. Left to their own social devices and without any compulsion, most of the younger couples preferred to look away or simply mind their own beeswax. Voluntary conversation and social engagement with near-strangers is becoming a rare thing generally. And it appears to me that the "vibe" at many high end travel accommodations is suffering because of it.
It wasn't always so. In my parents' halcyon days of travel, social intercourse was part of the pleasure. Meeting new people provided an opportunity to compare notes, offer suggestions, even make friends. Does that still hold true now that everyone has a smartphone with an international SIM card? I'm not sure.
Maybe part of the equation is where you are and why you are there. One of the Asian resorts I'm thinking of was a bit isolated. Maybe some of the socially private folks were on their honeymoon, or just wanted a break from people. Maybe that's why they looked away from me with dread when I asked if they enjoyed their dinner.
In complete contrast to these recent experiences in Asia, I can recall conversing and interacting with every guest at an eco-lodge in Costa Rica a few years ago. Each night a group of about a dozen guests, all ages, would all gather at the bar before dinner to exchange photos, talk about animals we saw that day, and suggest itineraries for the next day. Come to think of it, I'm still in touch with some of these folks. And I think these informal social gatherings, which continued on to "family-style" service at dinner, really enhanced the experience for all of us.
Is it a generational thing? Is it just the way we're brought up? Is it climatic?
Last trip to Paris, Cheryl and I were at Rino, a wonderful new-school restaurant Tony Bourdain raved about in his food/travel series. (It was superb. Find more info here: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g187147-d1868664-Reviews-Rino-Paris_Ile_de_France.html ) Anyway, we saw a woman about our age eating her dinner alone at a table nearby, and we heard her speak English to her server. Cheryl promptly invited this lady to sit and dine with us. Not something I would do personally, but I loved her for that. And it turned out to be a really good experience for all of us.
Look, I'm not asking for a communal experience at a resort. People spend good money for their vacations, and I respect their right to privacy if they want it. But let's be civilized. Let's have enough in the way of social chops to enable us to look at someone, smile and say hello. It's a win-win proposition, costs nothing, and makes for a much better atmosphere. And travel experience.
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